Tick, tick, tick

Well, the clock is ticking on my employ here at DG. I'm surprised by the reactions I've been getting, I had no idea I am as popular as I seem to be. That, and people seem concerned about what's going to happen to the group after I leave. People also think that I'm in some "loop" about the future of the company and I must know something they don't. I know know anything, the fact that I'm so far outside of the loop is one of the reasons why I'm leaving...I'm tired of not knowing what's going on or hearing from all these new people how crappy the system is or how surprised they are by how well it all works once they finally realize that it's better than any other system they have.

I hope that after I leave they realize that if you keep your strongest teams in the dark, they get nervous and ultimately will go someplace where they feel like they are part of the solution instead of some bastard red-haired step child you keep around to do your grunt work.

Oh well, I'm really not as bitter as I sound, there are great people here in Peoria and I'll be sorry to say goodbye to them.

On another front, I'm off to Texas tomorrow for a baptism and Caffreys. I can't believe that it's been as hard as it has been to get together with Gina to replenish my supply, but if it has to wait til next week it will only mean I won't bring those with me and I'll have some at home.

That's all for now, still thawing from my bike ride this morning, so I'm off to find some coffee.

Piling it on

For some odd reason I generally try to heap on as much stress as possible. It's not enough to just be starting a new job in a couple of weeks (very stressed about that decision, btw), but now I've decided it is time to file for divorce as well. I'm going in Thursday to do that, which Keri doesn't know yet, so keep it hush-hush. I was going to tell her over the weekend, but she couldn't find the time in her busy schedule to talk for 15 minutes and got pissy because I wouldn't tell her over IM.

It's been 14 months since I left her...the first several months she tried to get me to move back in, then when it finally worked she said no. The past 10 months have been some weird game of back and forth that has really messed us both up. On the bright side, we finally have a good level of hate going on now that will ensure a messy divorce :)

I tell myself that I should hold off until the results of her job interview Wednesday at Cat come back since I may be shooting myself in the foot with the divorce now, but honestly, how long am I supposed to stay married to someone just because divorce is expensive? I'd much rather have it done and over with so I can get on with my life instead of feeling like I have to make it work with her because we're legally married. Plus, I feel Samantha needs to know that we're done trying and that this is the way it is.

So, the big question now is whether or not I try to get anything back. You see, I gave her everything when I left...everything in the house, including the equity, so that I could ease some of my guilt. That guilt is gone (...just erased an especially nasty comment of why...), and rather than go further into debt replacing those things I think she can probably afford to start replacing some herself. I do miss my 54" TV, after all!!

Do I sound bitter? Yeah, I probably am...but I have to embrace it and let it make me strong enough to go through with this. I left her because I couldn't put up with her bitchy ways any more, and she's only gotten worse, so why not be bitter? There's a light in this tunnel and I'm running towards it!

On the bright side, a trip to Texas this weekend. The last time was very interesting, this time should be tamer considering I'm going for a baptism, but it's always a good time.

Here's to hoping the grass is greener.

I know what you're thinking, "Where have I seen that headline before?" Well, it's what Jason used when he blogged about his decision to leave the company. Well, not it's my turn. I've accepted a job with a consulting firm here in Peoria and am hoping that the green grass I see over the fence is real and not an illusion.

I've been very comfortable where I am now for a number of years, longer than at any other employ, but lately it's grown a bit stale. The websites are 3 years old and though we're in the beginning stages of redeveloping them, I don't think that the change of code will be enough of a change considering that the site will remain the same. I just sit in my office and try to fix the code that I wrote 3 years ago instead of writing new code that doesn't work!!

So here's to hoping, hope is sometimes all we have, right? The past year has quite possibly been the most tumultuous of my life, what with the seperation, messed up MB story, moving twice, why not add a new job to the mix and see how much I can take before I snap!!!

Gotta run, this new company won't let me wear jeans so I've got some shopping to do...

Been a while

It's been a while since I posted, figured I should write something. First, the Cliff Notes version of my life the past few months....I moved from my apartment into a house in Chillicothe.

Things to think of when you rent a house....
1) If you see a dead roach on the kitchen floor when you look through the house before you rent it, it's a pretty safe bet that there are more somewhere else. Sure, I fog-bombed it, sprayed everythign with Raid, and had Orkin come out before I moved in, but I'm still seeing the odd super roach wander around. I thought it odd after I fogged the place that there were tiny roach sized party hats on the floor next to the fogger and all my chips were gone, I think they were huffing the stuff instead of dying. Damn Roaches.

2) Wallpaper is unbelievably hard to peel off of paneling. I've probaby spent a total of 60 hours (no kidding) peeling wallpaper.

3) You can just paint over wallpaper, which I learned way too late in the process. Once I remembered that I'm renting and not buying I started looking for shortcuts

4) Dirt driveways suck, especially with the rain we've been having

I could go on, but I think I've whined enough. On the bright side, it is directly across the street from the Community Center here in Chili, where I work out every morning (except this morning since I'm old and threw my back out a few days ago). I figured that would be the only way I'd go to the gym regularly, if I had to see it every time I looked out my window.

It's also across the street from Sam's school, which is nice for her, though she and I lost the battle with Keri to let her come here after school instead of going to an after care program. Keri's paying for the after care so I didn't put up much of a fight.

Still not divorced, getting closer, though. I'm losing interest in our arrangement to stay married so she can be insured. It's been over a year, she's dating...Sam gives me guilt trips if I bring up dating someone else, and let's face it...I've been too nice for too long.

There are quite a few squirrels that live in the trees in my yard, and they are starting to look at me like we may be getting close to the time where they put their evil plan in motion. Wish me luck as I run to my car (Forget the motorcycle today, I'm still soggy from my ride last night!) since I'll have to go under that tree.