New Life Goal

Sometimes things hit you that are so obviously perfect that you can't believe you've lived your whole life without trying to achieve that goal. One of those hit me today, granted, it'd be jumping on a bandwagon, but I saw the light today!!

I hope someday I, too, can have the headlining, top AP News story written about me, and I hope it is somehow along the same lines of "Michael Jackson to stop sleeping with underage boys." Know that I'm not out to start sleeping with underage boys purely to be able to get a headline saying that I've stopped, I just want to have some unbelievably assinine headline that the USA Today actually thinks is more important than the 4 year old boy who died at Disneyland (no comments about what died at Neverland over the years...innocence comes to mind) or the fact that Japan has over 1 million people over the age of 90 (No wonder why Jacko never goes there).

No, I've been thinking of things that the AP could write about me that would really make people say "Thank god, I wouldn't have slept if I didn't know that!"

Here's what I'm working on:

1. Joe Kraft to stop selling crack to kindergartners
2. Joe Kraft to stop peeing in neighbor's sink
3. Joe Kraft to stop storing body parts in freezer
4. Joe Kraft to stop the ticking time bomb in the boiler room

Oh, there's more, but the beauty of it all is that it means that I was doing those things, got off, and now can justify my actions by promising not to do them. Just think, Chucky Manson could probably get out if he just told people he'd stop being such a nut.

Congrats, Wacko, you proved that celebrity beats the justice system every time. Well, sorry Martha, guess you don't rank.

Angry People

There are a lot of angry people in the world. I hate them all. You can be happy, it's just easier with opium.

Yeah, so many angry people...go to hell.

Jealousy

It dawns on me that the self-centered masses are controlled by self-imposed jealousy. It is easier to hate someone for their successes than to try to be that successful yourself. So rather than taking control of your own life you feel the need to bring someone else down. It's all part of the woe-is-me, I'm a victim, it's not my fault attitude that has swept America since Bill Clinton was in office. Even he was a victim of "sexual addiction", so it's not his fault that he lied to a grand jury, a crime that gets most people in jail.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame him for having a tryst with an intern. I think that if you make it to the presidency you should be able to do just about anything with anyone you want to. I'd probably focus my efforts more on Lindsay Lohan than Monica Lewinsky, but after years with Hillary I guess Monica wasn't that bad.

No, my problem is with people that are constantly pissed off because others have it good. How many times have you heard or seen people get upset because some sports star is holding out for more money or isn't behaving in a way that they agree with. It makes me wonder how much of that anger is born out of resentment that the star is rich and they're not. Yes, I think all of it. It can't possibly be my fault that I didn't spend my childhood honing my skills and putting countless hours of effort into becoming an athlete, no...it's their fault that I'm not that good. Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds must have somehow stopped me from having the motivation to better myself so I'll cheer for their failures and seethe when they do well. Nevermind the fact that they did spend their entire lives building themselves up to be where they are. Same thing with actors, successful businesspeople, anyone who has become a cut above the rest. It's easier to blame society or bigotry or luck of the draw than to admit that you failed or didn't care enough to reach that level of success.

Granted, with the pussification of America over the past 20 years all you have to do is find someone to sue and you may be rich, too. Why work for it if you can get millions for doing something stupid and blaming someone else for it. How on earth can people sue for hurting themselves when they break into someone's house and cut themselves on the glass (it happened, look it up), or for spilling coffee on themselves or because the house they bought didn't have any water spigots outside.

I'm tired of the majority bowing to the minority in this country. Most Americans want to see Paris Hilton wash a car for Carls Jr, most don't care if other people smoke in bars, most either don't care or want the 10 commandment monument to be returned to the Georgian courthouse, and most want to be able to continue to say "under God" in the pledge of allegiance. Who cares about the majority's freedom of speech if 1 person is offended?

Besides his propensity to make up new words, I think people are most upset with W's attempt to shake up the system and get the majority back in charge. To hell with the wimps, if you don't want to watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show, turn the channel. If eating meat offends you, don't go to McDonalds. If you're fat, it's not McDonalds fault that you eat there 10 times a week, anyway. Get off your ass and excercise...yes, IT IS YOUR FAULT.

So there it is, a long winded rant that boils down to this simple concept. If people are more successful than you, it's because they tried harder and worked for it. If you're poor or fat or smoke or have any other correctable problem that you wish you could change, it's your fault that you haven't changed it.

Fix it or shut up.

Welcome

What is a Mobius Strip?

A continuous one-sided surface that can be formed from a rectangular strip by rotating one end 180° and attaching it to the other end.

Why do I call it Moebius Strip?

Well, Moebius is a valid spelling, but mostly because of a game my friend Sean Chou had when we were in 7th grade. Was a killer ninja game for the Commodore 64. They just don't make games like that anymore. That said, if I played it today I'd probably be as disappointed as I was when I watched Howard The Duck for the first time in 20 years over the weekend.

A Moebius Strip is similar to the symbol used for infinity (http://www-vrl.umich.edu/project2/moebius/escher_scr.jpg), take a look. It's how I see life, a constant cycle leading you back to where you started, no longer how hard you try you tend to end up in the same place, with the same problems, never really getting ahead or falling behind. My friend Amy tells me like I'm Seinfeld...just an "Even Steven". Nothing truly bad happens, or when it does it is almost immediately counterbalanced with something equally as amazing. Still, the amazing always turns bad and the bad generally leads to yet another amazing happening.

So here's my blog. I'm one of you now.

Sadly, the biggest things in my life will probably be avoided here, at least until the legal ramifications of writing them down are lessened. So don't expect rants on my pending divorce, stories of the girl I've been seeing recently, or the location of that unfortunate hitchhiker that I picked up so many years ago.

On the bright side, know that I do hate people in general, and expect people to do something to make me change that initial impression (you're an ass) to one a bit more social (you're a jerk) before I pay them any notice. Not a day goes by where someone doesn't do something to reaffirm my belief that people are, in general, completely obsessed with themselves and have no consideration for the people around them.

My daughter has her first softball game of the year tonight, that's always a prime place to pick the people who further my feelings that the earth wouldn't be so bad if there weren't those damned people ruining it.

Oh, and it's also my belief that anyone with a blog immediately falls into the 'completely obsessed with themselves' category, after all, who really cares if you had to wipe a couple extra times because of the salse you had for dinner, what shoes you're wearing, or why you're whining about how you're going to be in hell while volunteering to help people less fortunate than you (btw, if you're that worried, just don't go--on a side note, glad you got the hotel).