What's wrong with a midget infatuation?
I've been called out on my midget infatuation. What's wrong with it, I say? When Sam was 4-5 years old her day care teacher was a little person. How many of you are wondering if I asked, but I didn't...not once...if she'd sing me that she represented the lollipop guild. Actually, she was a great teacher, Samantha loved the fact that she was taller than her teacher (Yes, honestly, she was), and I loved picking Sam up because I got to see her!
Still, I suppose it is wrong to want to hire one to do my bidding. And my bidding would be to be my personal assistant. No, nothing like what you see on http://www.midgetporn.com (NSFW!), that is just wrong...but someone to stand by my couch holding my coffee in the morning, doing summersaults on command, maybe the Safety Dance.
Anyway, sorry to anyone I've offended with my love of the midget. Willow is one of my favorite movies while that guy from Big Fish scares me. (Especially now that he's dead...if I saw him today I'd definitely crap myself, don't need any giant zombies chasing me (is Willow dead, don't remember)). Wow, 2 levels of parenthesis, yeah, the ADD strikes again.
Anyway, if you are going to lunch at Jumer's, don't plan on getting back to work on time. Instead, go with someone that has to get back to work on your day off so you can watch them squirm (Sorry!!) Also, the Grilled Shrimp sandwhich may very well be one of the hardest sandwhiches to eat. It said it came with lettuce, I saw the lettuce, but by the time the sandwhich got to my mouth nary one piece of lettuce got there with it. Stupid me, should have tucked.
Time to go beat up some kids...this martial arts is great, I sometimes pretend that the kids are midgets, and that's all right!
Still, I suppose it is wrong to want to hire one to do my bidding. And my bidding would be to be my personal assistant. No, nothing like what you see on http://www.midgetporn.com (NSFW!), that is just wrong...but someone to stand by my couch holding my coffee in the morning, doing summersaults on command, maybe the Safety Dance.
Anyway, sorry to anyone I've offended with my love of the midget. Willow is one of my favorite movies while that guy from Big Fish scares me. (Especially now that he's dead...if I saw him today I'd definitely crap myself, don't need any giant zombies chasing me (is Willow dead, don't remember)). Wow, 2 levels of parenthesis, yeah, the ADD strikes again.
Anyway, if you are going to lunch at Jumer's, don't plan on getting back to work on time. Instead, go with someone that has to get back to work on your day off so you can watch them squirm (Sorry!!) Also, the Grilled Shrimp sandwhich may very well be one of the hardest sandwhiches to eat. It said it came with lettuce, I saw the lettuce, but by the time the sandwhich got to my mouth nary one piece of lettuce got there with it. Stupid me, should have tucked.
Time to go beat up some kids...this martial arts is great, I sometimes pretend that the kids are midgets, and that's all right!
posted by TennesseeJed at 1:09 PM
3 Comments:
I would rather be around Giants..in fact...I love freakishly large things. Like Shaq's feet. They are huge!!! but midgets..really freak the hell out of me. I can't be around them, horrible fear...HORRIBLE FEAR!!! I just feel like they are going to start stabbing my knees or something. Sorry to any small people out there...but you scare the hell out of me!
You know what I would do if I had a midget. I would make him stand outside in a lawn jockey uniform and when company came over he would have to run inside and yell "Dee plane, boss! Dee plane!" ... that would be SWEET!
Hey, I like midgets too, come on someone shorter than me, I like feeling tall!!
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