Texas? What's a Texas?
I love Texas. It's hot. It's humid. November 7 in Austin feels like August 7 in Peoria, and August 7 in Texas feels like you've fallen into the bowels of hell. I was there this past weekend, it was 90 freaking degrees when I left on Monday....it was 50 when I landed in Peoria. Yes, I'm a cold-weather person, so scraping my windshield this morning was better than running your air conditioner on New Years Eve.
Still, when it's that hot outside all there is to do is sit inside and drink. And sleep, then wake up and drink some more. Not sure why I thought my 33 year old body could still act like it was 18, but after the 5 Caffreys, 2 shots of Petrone, bottle of wine, daquiris, margaritas, cosmopolitins, and god knows what else I drank after that (for some reason things got real hazy about then) Saturday night/Sunday morning (I didn't get to bed until 8am), Sunday was a lost cause. I woke up at 2pm, threw up, went back to bed until 4, threw up, laid on the couch until 6, threw up, then finally forced dinner down. Sadly, dinner was really good since I was too hungover to enjoy it...luckily it stayed down. It took until Tuesday morning before I felt okay. I'm old and pathetic, yes.
Still, Gina has refreshed my Caffrey's supply so I'm feeling good. My liver feels somewhat recovered from the weekend, though it is warning me to take it easy for a while.
Texas has become my bastion of freedom. What happens there better stay there (if you're reading this Steve), because noone here needs to know how quickly I get booed off the stage in XBox Karaoke, about my glass jaw (that dog had a hard head), about hot nurses that are ready to party, or the job offer at Dell.
Maybe if it wasn't for Sam, the heat, and the fact that I really enjoy paying state taxes I'd consider the move, but as it is I think I'll stay in the midwest for now. My liver couldn't take many more weekends like that!
Still, when it's that hot outside all there is to do is sit inside and drink. And sleep, then wake up and drink some more. Not sure why I thought my 33 year old body could still act like it was 18, but after the 5 Caffreys, 2 shots of Petrone, bottle of wine, daquiris, margaritas, cosmopolitins, and god knows what else I drank after that (for some reason things got real hazy about then) Saturday night/Sunday morning (I didn't get to bed until 8am), Sunday was a lost cause. I woke up at 2pm, threw up, went back to bed until 4, threw up, laid on the couch until 6, threw up, then finally forced dinner down. Sadly, dinner was really good since I was too hungover to enjoy it...luckily it stayed down. It took until Tuesday morning before I felt okay. I'm old and pathetic, yes.
Still, Gina has refreshed my Caffrey's supply so I'm feeling good. My liver feels somewhat recovered from the weekend, though it is warning me to take it easy for a while.
Texas has become my bastion of freedom. What happens there better stay there (if you're reading this Steve), because noone here needs to know how quickly I get booed off the stage in XBox Karaoke, about my glass jaw (that dog had a hard head), about hot nurses that are ready to party, or the job offer at Dell.
Maybe if it wasn't for Sam, the heat, and the fact that I really enjoy paying state taxes I'd consider the move, but as it is I think I'll stay in the midwest for now. My liver couldn't take many more weekends like that!
posted by TennesseeJed at 5:54 AM
3 Comments:
How old is Sam? You should only have a few more years. And think of it this way...if you live in another state...that is another state where she could attend college and pay in-state fees. Just take her with you! Oh wait...this is Illinois. Men's rights on children really suck!
I personally hate Texas. But there are good things. As long as the driver isn't drinking...everyone else in the car can drink. And you can carry a gun and shoot someone who is just on your property. (that one scares me a little actually). But no state taxes!! NICE!!!!
Can I live in Texas. I personally hate the state, but Gina got me thinking. Just have my daughter's family drop her off for tithe weekend and ... WOOOHOOOO!!!! Welcome to the Happy Hunting Grounds!!!
BTW, the weekend you described was every day of my life - minus the Cosmopolitans ... fag - from 18 to 25. Speaking of drink selection, the Jed I knew was a real man; you are getting soft in your old age. Next time, just give in, order the Shirley Temple, and save us all the blog!
On a serious note, I hope all is well and that Mark is half-dead in a ditch somewhere with his blackberry just out of reach. Happy thoughts!
In my defense, since I got mocked in a posting, the drink selection over the weekend wasn't my choice. If a hot nurse brings you a cosmopolitan, and your only other option is water, you drink what she brings. Hell, had she brought me a Shirley Temple at that point I'd have had it, too, though I may have had to add some Lysterine or Nyquil, or something else with alcohol in it.
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